on procrastination.

I’ll have you know I've had this document open for 2 hours with only the title on it. then I minimized the window, checked out the amazon flash sales, made a list of the things I would be serving if I were hosting Thanksgiving this year…..well, half a list, cuz I stopped after the appetizers when I got distracted remembering I needed to go to the post office, so I went there and now I am back to writing this blog post. Which I am about to minimize and return a text from my husband and an email to my best friend. BRB…

And now its 2 hours later and I’m not even making that up. I bought my best friend a birthday present and got 2 Christmas books for Ben from Hautelook, checked Facebook from my phone, spent some time with my girlfriends discussing my imaginary Thanksgiving menu. This is why I can’t get anything done. This is the root of my anxiety problem….and yet, like crack (I assume.) I cannot stop.

I mean, is it procrastination or legit ADD?

Source: bit.ly via Lauren on Pinterest

That reminds me, I was at Francesca’s Sunday getting some more stuff for my BFF’s birthday package and the two sales girls were discussing some nonsensical thing that teenagers would be discussing and the one girl, the bitchier one, actually said “legit” 3 times in the time it took the other one (who was actually doing her job) to ring me up. Three times. I wanted to punch her in the face. I kind of want to punch myself in the face right now too for ever saying “legit” again after that little display. Oof.

So anyway……

Procrastination is the reason I am still holding on to the 10 lbs I wanted to lose in high school…..and the 30 I packed on after high school….and at least half of the 50 I gained when  was pregnant (stop with the math. That’s not fun for anyone.)….

Procrastination is the reason our house still looks like a college dorm even though we've lived there for 6 years and even though I desperately want a living room that looks like a page from The Pottery Barn Catalog. Or at least a sisal rug. Jeez.

Procrastination is the reason I've only been writing one blog post a week lately. and hating myself for it. Because I miss you.

Procrastination is the reason I never got my college degree….the reason we’re struggling to pay for 2 mortgages and daycare…the reason we can’t take a family vacation.

Procrastination is the reason I haven’t seen my best friend or my daddy in 6 years.

Procrastination is the bane of my existence, my immortal enemy. It’s a disease. I want to be better, but I don’t know where to start…..and THAT is exactly the thing about procrastination, right? You don’t know where to start so instead you just minimize the window and fill your time with pointless other shit.

But it just occurred to me that “procrastination” is also The Mother of all Excuses. And you know what?

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t have a plan, if that’s what you’re looking for. I just know that I am sick of feeling so stressed out all the time from all the loose ends hanging around all over the place…unfinished little piddly crap….or unfinished big important crap that I just never bother to complete. How annoying.

I can’t be the only one who deals with this to such a great degree….I hope I am cuz this sucks, but I can’t be, can I? I’m not looking for camaraderie and someone to come along and say “Why yes, I have big issues with procrastination too! Let’s put all our tasks on hold, sit on the couch and share this bottle of Merlot while watching The Big Bang Theory instead of tackling our to do lists! It’ll be fun!”….rather, I’m looking for somebody to share with me what they are doing to overcome it…..cuz I can’t live like this anymore.

Hey! I think my next blog post is going to be about the insanely amazing Piko Top I just got from Kiki La'Rue and the Lenore Scarf that I also got and am obsessed with. Unless  I procrastinate that too, which, if I do? Shoot me because we need to discuss.

And one more thing, this is super important.....do you guys follow Becka yet? She is the mastermind behind all things fab at Kiki La'Rue and if you didn't know, she has her very own blog now. You should follow her. She is amazing and I luff her with my whole heart.