friday's letters...

Dear box of wine from last night,

Thanks much for the screaming headache I woke up with.  Safe to say from here on out, I will not be purchasing your particular brand of klassy bevvie.

Dear Laurie,

6 more days!!!! Words can’t even express how excited I am to see your sweet face and hug and kiss you all weekend!

Dear Georgetown Cupcake,

You changed my life and I kind of hate you for it. First there was Magnolia…and truth be told, they are still at the top of my cupcake list…then, I thought I found heaven in Crumbs…then I was sure I heard angels singing in Sprinkles but you…you eclipsed them all. I mean seriously, how do you do it? I need your cookbook, stat.

Dear Jo,

I had so much fun hobbling around NYC with you last weekend! But then, I always have fun when I am with you… I wish we would have taken more pictures!! Especially of that macaron…good god that thing was delicious!! I miss you already!

Dear Scoot,

You’re so cute when you get all excited about Christmas. I’m really scared of these gifts you’re talking up…I hope I’m able to make you even half as happy as you keep promising you’re gonna make me…not fair!!

Dear Santa,

Let’s be honest, bro. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to be bad this year….well, ok, maybe just a handful….actually, now that I think about it, those “opportunities” were kind of all in my head…so nevermind about that. I’ve been good. It’s time to pay the piper….maybe see what you can do about hooking me up with some gift cards for Dunkin Donuts, Victoria’s Secret, Starbucks, Queen Av’s Nails and European Wax Center. Also, I’d really dig a new case for my iphone, the dogeared karma necklace I’ve been crying over forever, some new running shoes and a Kuereg. Too much? Did I mention all the opportunities I had to be bad??

Happy weekend, kids!

sincerely

Dear Hurricane Sandy,

Um….no. Please either hurry up or else make a sharp right because if you mess up Benny’s first Halloween where he’s actually going to carry his own little candy bag and ring doorbells, I am going to flip out. Flip OUT. “Frankenstorm” or not, don’t mess with this mama on Halloween. Also, I need to raid Benny’s stash so it’s kinda serious.

Dear Raging Appetite as of Late,

What’s up, yo? I don’t know if this is an emotional eating thing, a boredom thing or true hunger but enough is enough. Back on The Soup Diet.

meanwhile….

Dear PeraBell Food Bar,

See you Sunday! Can’t wait! OMG yum.

Dear MAC Holiday Collection,

I am obsessed. Your ass is mine.

Dear Benny,

I love you sweet boy, but lets try and cool it with the Cars 2 obsession, k? I’m not asking you to go cold turkey, but maybe we could just limit the demands for “CAHS! CAHS!” to less than 100 a day? Mama’s going a little batty….Ka-Chow. I love you, baby.

That’s all, folks. Have a great Weekend!!

friday's letters

Dear Kellen,

I can’t even tell you how great it was to talk to you last night. My little brother. You’re all growed up and we feel like friends now and kind of for the first time in my life I felt like I really had a sibling…I know that’s strange to say and I don’t know how to explain it, but I am so, so lucky to have you in my life and I love you with all my heart. Let’s talk more often ok???

Dear Maya,

You sweet thing….I’m so glad you make my little bro so happy. I can’t wait to meet you and hug you….I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about your kind heart and happy spirit from everyone who knows you and I just want you to know I’m thankful for you :)

p.s. I straight stole this picture right off your Facebook. I love it. You two are just about the cutest thing I have ever seen in all my life.

Dear Macoun & Honeycrisp apples,

You’re finally here! I am dreaming of hot, syrupy apple pies, fancy decorated caramel apples and simple, straightforward munching…..11 months out of the year I don’t even bat an eye at apples, but when October rolls around and your shiny, happy faces show up at the supermarket, it’s on like donkey kong! #yum

Dear Scott,

I know I have said this a hundred million times already, but I feel so guilty. I’m sorry your birthday present is almost a MONTH late. I basically suck. But I think it’s going to be worth it. I dropped a lot of hints last night and I hope you don’t go ruining your surprise, but if you do, I hope you’re excited cuz I am! We’re going to have a blast! And also, thanks for taking care of the pool stuff this week and cleaning up and everything. I love you.

Dear Cough/Cold/Whatever this is,

Enough already. Seriously. Ugh.

Dear John,

I am so ridiculously, outrageously excited to come & see you play next month. It has been far, far too long, my friend. Please save a snuggle for me. you know I’ll be needing a fix ;)

Dear Followers & Bloggy Friends,

Thanks for being patient with me while I work out this funky funk I’m in. I don’t know what my problem is, but every kind word you send my way and every new face I see in my GFC box makes my heart so happy….so, so happy.

Dear Retro Fitness,

I’ll see you this week if it kills me. Tell that arc trainer of yours it better be ready for me. I mean it too. grumble grumble grumble.

I could go on all day, but I’ll stop lest this turn into a snorefest…

Coming next week: all the words my genius boy has added to his vocabulary plus a severe excess of frantic panic nervous breakdowns regarding hair, makeup, outfits, uncomfortable shoes, what the hell lipgloss to wear, feeling fat, trying to detox and every other insane thing you can think of regarding The Brooklyn’s Backyard thing that I kinda sorta just wish would be over already so I can stop thinking about.

crap.  

a mish-mash of randoms..friday's letters & 13 in however old i am

I feel like I’m 90. I am sitting in my office, shivering with my hands wrapped around a mug of hot water….well, they aren’t wrapped around it right now, because I am typing, but I do stop every few words for a warm up. This is ridiculous. I’m all for air conditioning, but please tell me why it has to blow snow? It’s July. Can’t we just experience summer a little bit? It’s so fleeting. I am already crying on the inside thinking about December….

So, I am really slacking lately. I know. I keep getting inspiration and then just sort of zoning out half way through…like, if you could see my screen right now you’d see that above these two paragraphs, I actually have a list started to link up with Erin’s post from the other day…which, better late than never? I just can’t seem to get my shit together. Anyway, her’s was a “26 in 26” link up…and such a cute idea…and I’d be all over that, if I were about to turn 13, because I have been staring at my list for 2 hours now and I can only come up with 13 things. There’s only 13 things I want to do this year? Apparently. I especially like this idea because I always thought it made more sense to make your New Year’s Resolutions on your birthday rather than on January 1^st…I mean, unless of course, January 1^st is your birthday, which is a win/win for you, isn’t it? The only thing about this I’m not too jazzed about is admitting how old I actually am about to be, but, of course, I can only think of 13 things anyway, so it’s a moot point. At least I don’t have to admit my age…here are my 13 things…

My birthday is in 3 weeks. I'll keep working on this list and see if i can do any better by then...I mean, only 13? That's just embarrasing.

1. do the color run….or some other 5k, but preferably the color run
2. meet Adam Richman (if you know me, you know this one is in the bag)
3. buy a bottle of Booker's bourbon and drink it
4. make lobster pot pie
5. reach my goal weight
6. go on a tropical vacation
7. go with Ben to meet his grandpa
8. finish my room
9. reach 100 followers on le blog
10. throw out all the clothes that don’t fit me anymore or that I never wear
11. get a manicure at least once a month
12. finish Atlas Shrugged
13. take a cooking class at Sur la Table

So lots of fun stuff lined up for this weekend….and by “lots” I mean one….lobsters. On sale for $3.99/lb….rub your eyes, read it again…THREE DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS A POUND. For lobsters. That’s straight up nuts, folks…and I plan to eat my weight in those little boogers….actually, scratch that. I just did the math.  That’s more than I was hoping to spend. But a lot, anyway. I plan to eat a lot of them and to me, that = fun. And yummy.

Without further adieu, I bring you a quicky Friday’s Letters…

 

Dear lobsters,

Sorry about your imminent death. If you weren’t so delicious, this wouldn’t have to happen.

Dear Sami,

Keep your head up, sister. You are stronger than you know.

Dear Mental Health Day I took on Wednesday,

Thank you. THANK YOU. You were the most perfect day I have known in a long time…I floated, I shopped, I cleaned, I made myself an amazing omelet…I can’t say my sadz are 100% cured, but they are much improved and I owe it all to you.

Dear Adam Richman,

I‘m sort of over you…are you bummed? I don’t know what happened…I just lost that lovin’ feeling.

Dear summer,

I know we’re reaching the point where everyone else has just about had it with you and your 90 degree temps and stifling humidity….they are jonesing for colorful leaves, crisp apples and cool breezes…um…not me. please don’t go. I love you. I’m begging you, please! I haven’t eaten nearly enough tomatoes, we still haven’t been to a carnival, we haven’t gone out on a boat even once….please stay. Forever.

Dear Delaney,

Thanks for doing such a great job taking care of Ben this summer. You guys are having a blast and it makes me so happy…I’m really proud of both of you.

Have a super fly weekend y’all.

friday's letters...

Ahhhh Friday, you slippery, elusive little devil….we’ve got our hands on you again and not a moment too soon, huh? Good lord. Ok then…..this can only mean one thing? It’s time for Friday’s letters…

Dear Picasso (aka Benny),

Thank you, sweet boy, for the gorgeous mural you so lovingly drew on our bedroom wall in green crayon this morning. It is, truly, a masterpiece and will cause me great strife when I take to it with elbow grease and a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser tonight. Never stop creating, my love….but try not to do it on the walls anymore unless it’s really, really necessary in the name of artistic expression, k?

Dear Chalene Johnson,

Thanks for the workout this morning, hooker. I’m sore already. But, I feel good, so even though I called you a hooker, the thanks were sincere.

Dear Affro-de-humidity I’m rockin’ today,

Please don’t get any bigger. You already have your own climate. Thanks.

Dear NYC Color Run,

Why ya gotta be sold out?? My weekend opened up and I was so pumped to get registered and….no….so totally bummed. Not that I was in any way, shape or form prepared to tackle a 5k right now…I get winded taking out the garbage these days, so maybe it’s for the best but next year? I’m making you my bitch.

Dear Erin Condren Planner,

You’re still not here. Not cool. I’m starting to twitch.

Have a great weekend everybody!!!

it's friday, yo!

I’m realizing as I’m reading over my Friday’s Letters that they might come off a bit hostile…and I may or may not have screamed some pretty severe profanity and umbrella-stabbing threats at the woman who honked at me when the light turned green this morning and interrupted me checking my emails. So I’m feeling stabby today. I’ll try and bring back the happy next week, folks….

Dear Pediatrician,

Don’t piss me off today. You’re already on my sh*t list. Don’t give me the worried face when I am answering your asinine questions just a tad differently than you’d like, don’t send me into a panic over nothing like you always do and don’t even THINK about giving my son more than one shot, got it? p.s. take a good look at my sweet boy cuz we’re switching doctors after this appointment. Your office staff is from hell and you’re not far behind. Also, my PMS is raging right now, so you should probably call for reinforcements. See you at 2:45.

Dear Tomorrow’s Weather,

Thanks for being such an overachiever!!! Yes, I definitely said I like it hot but I actually don’t recall mentioning that I’d like to be able to poach an egg in my swimming pool…but hey, maybe I did. Who knows…I drink a lot of wine.

Dear 2lbs. I lost,

So help me god, if you mysteriously show up again and bring a pile of friends with you just in time for my WW meeting Sunday morning like you have been doing for 8 weeks now (plateau much?), you’re going to be sorry. I'll eat nothing but rice cakes dipped in Sriracha for a week. I’ll show you who’s boss.

Dear Erin Condren Planner,

Please hurry up. I am dying to get my paws on you! Plus, I have a lot of things to plan! And by a lot of things, I pretty much just mean I need to transfer over my birthday wish list and decorate October 13^th with glitter and hearts. So hurry. That stuff is muy importante.

Dear Self,

Get your act together. I’ve been gentle and forgiving with you for long enough, it’s time to get serious. I’m not asking for miracles here, all I want is a little effort. I’m not sure why you’ve lost all motivation….nothing has changed. There are still big events on the horizon and when they roll around and you’re still tossing the same 4lbs back and forth, all your clothes look terrible not matter what ridiculous pose you twist yourself into and you beat yourself up for not taking this seriously months ago, there will be tears, like there always have been. Why?? Why not just make the sacrifices once and for all and allow yourself to be happy? Think about it.

{via}

Dear wine,

I think we should talk. Maybe our breakup was a little premature. I mean, look how much fun we have together!!!

And last but not least…

Dear Andi,

Tomorrow is your wedding!! To your baby daddy and all around awesome dude…the love you have been waiting for and the love that you DESERVE. I am over-the-moon happy for you, my sweet firend, and I can think of no one who deserves this wonderful life that is unfolding more than you…I wish I could be there to kiss you both! I love you, girl!!

‘til next week my friends….unless I melt first.

it's friday, bishes!

Thank The Baby Jesus!

Time again for another rendition of the funnest link up around.

Yes, I said “funnest”

Dear Justin Bieber,

Damn you and your catchy little “Boyfriend” ditty….I’m hooked. I am mortified about it, but I’ve got The Fever….thanks a lot ya little punk.

Dear Uncle Guiseppes Market,

Live lobsters for $4.99/lb this week?!?! Yes, please!! Thank you for making all of my lobster roll dreams come true! People? It’s on. Follow me on Instagram for the play by play. @rach_loveyoumore.

Here is the recipe I'll be using...if you're smart, you'll join me :)

Dear Amazon,

Thanks for having the shoes I have been stalking on Zappos for $25 less!! I feel like I hit the jackpot! Sorry, Zappos….ya snooze, ya lose…do you still love me?

Dear fireflies,

Please stick around for a long time this year. I feel like we haven’t spent enough time together and truth be told, you are my favorite part of summer. Ok, it’s a tie between floating, lobster rolls & you, but you get the idea…

Dear Weight Watchers,

It’s me, not you. I know I am a big, fat failure lately. I take the blame. I know what I’m doing wrong and yet, I continue to do it….what is my problem? If only you sold motivation in those outrageously expensive little snack packs that line your walls, I’d be all set. Sigh.

Have a great weekend, y’all! (y’all?) and go read this. first of all, she is absolutely hilarious and b) it pretty much exactly sums up all of my confusion regard my favorite holiday falling on a Wednesday this year…talk about a buzz kill…wah wah wah…..

To Whom it May Concern...

It’s Friday. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m so glad about that that I could probably do a cartwheel…

no….

scratch that.

I definitely could NOT do a cartwheel…but I feel like I could. Friday just has that effect on me. anywhooz, it’s been a downright bizarre week ‘round here and I’m more than happy to see it go…good riddance...don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out, ya hear??

So join me and Ashley and the rest of the gang in welcoming this glorious day with the coolest linkup….Friday's Letters...

Dear Wine…

I am quitting you. I know I keep saying that and it’s all been lies up to this point but right now, I am serious. You sit there on the counter, calling my name and then one glass turns into six three and next thing you know, I’ve blown my points for the day and am drunk tweeting nonsense to Justin Timberlake. No more. We are breaking up.

Dear Michele…

I can’t wait to see you tonight, homie! Although, now that I broke up with wine, I’m not sure what we’re going to do. Maybe I’ll save the big breakup for tomorrow…..besides, tonight? We celebrate! Happy 25^th birthday, bish!

look how pretty she is....happy birthday, my friend!

Dear Benny…

I booked Sesame Place for us today, baby! We are going to have an outrageously good time and I can’t wait to see your sweet face at Breakfast With Elmo and when you meet Cookie Monster for the first time. I love you so much, munchkin. You are the light of my life.

Dear Adam Richman…

Thanks for the sandwich porn on Wednesday nights, boo…you really know how to torture a girl with things that are totally off limits and out of reach. I guess I can’t really blame you. I’m the one who keeps coming back for more.

Don’t stop.

And last but not least…

Dear Friday’s Letters…

I really love this link up. sorry I suck so hard this week. I blame my girl Sami for the foggy head wine flu….I couldn’t let her drink alone last night :)