lobster rolls....finally

it is a true story that i have been wanting to try my hand at homemade lobster rolls for well over 3 years now...that is just plain ridiculous. life is too short for that hogwash....

so last weekend we finally just threw all caution to the wind and went and bought 3 whole lobsters and went to town....

well...there's a problem....now i never want to eat anything else ever again for the rest of my life.

yeah folks, they were THAT good.....it was seriously criminal.

if you're going to do something you've been wanting to do for as long as i've been wanting to make these little lobbie rolls, then you might as well do it RIGHT, so i perused a ton of recipes and in the end i decided to take the best of what i found and kind of...make up my own thing! the one thing i knew i wasn't going to compromise on was the mayonaise. if you've never made home made mayonaise from scratch...and i know, most of you haven't cuz most of you aren't NUTS...you absolutely HAVE to do it. if you never trust another word i ever say, trust this...go forth, my people, and make mayo. the first time i did it, i was so excited i busted out into the cabbage patch in the middle of the kitchen. now the hubs calls that the "mayonaise dance" and he won't let me make mayonaise without it. *sigh*

the buns are key. i searched high and low for real, new england style, top split buns and they were NOT easy to find. as if all the angels and faries in the forest were shining down on me, i happened upon them in the regular grocery store....it was a christmas miracle....now you could certainly use a regular hot dog bun....a potato bun or even a ciabatta roll, but that is not what we are here today to talk about.

no ma'am....i'm sorry, but you're just going to have to track down the new england rolls. please trust me, again. it's worth it. i have eaten a glutoneous number of lobster rolls in my lifetime and nothing compares to biting into a bun that is crunchy and buttery on the outside like the toast of a perfect grilled cheese and then there's the soft bread underneath filled with lobster salad so amazing it will make you slap yo' momma.....

please don't actually slap yo' momma though.  that would be pretty rude.

so here's what you do....first, you find someplace that sells live maine lobsters. please do not try and go to costco and get warm water lobster tails. it's not the same and i will know you cheated. and so will you. you're just going to have to trust me again.

we had the fishmonger (fishmonger. it always kills me when they say that on the food network so i had to throw it in there) steam them for us cuz i am just too busy for that nonsense. we got three of these guys around 1 1/4 lb each. when you get them that little, the meat is so much sweeter and the shells are so soft you don't even need crackers....so the first step is getting all of the claw, knuckle and tail meat out of them and chopping it or ripping it up into bite size chunks. now on to the recipe....

Lobster Rolls

• meat from three 1 1/4lb lobsters
• 1/3 cup of homemade mayonaise* (or use hellman's or best foods if you must, but don't tell me about it)
• 4 TBS melted unsalted butter
• juice of half to one whole lemon (a couple of TBS or so)
• 1 stalk of celery from the inside of the heart, including leaves
• a few TBS chopped parley
• chives
• sea salt (coarse flakes. i used maldon, but just don't use morton's table salt, ok? thanks.)
• celery salt

for buns:

• 2 TBS unsalted butter
• 1 clove of garlic, smashed
• 4 new england style buns

now here is what you do....after you shell the lobster and rip it up,  put it back in the fridge to chill for a bit. nobody likes a stressed out lobster. meanwhile, in a pan, melt 2 TBS butter on low to medium heat with a smashed garlic clove. let that get all good and fragrant and then fish out the clove and dip each side of your buns in the butter. make sure you get butter all the way to the edges. no need to soak them either, you just want them barely dipped, but all the way covered to the edge.

god i am anal. why do you hang out with me?

anyway, then you proceed to toast the buns till they are golden and toasty and just slightly crunchy looking and perfect. seriously, i could probably just eat 4 of these crunchy buttery buns all by themselves with nothing in them....but i have issues with carbs, which is another reason i am still wearing maternity pants.....

onwards and upwards!

so, now you have your buns all toasted and set off to the side on the plates ready to be stuffed....aren't they cute?

now take a bowl and whisk the 1/3 cup of mayo, the lemon juice (might not need all of it!!!!!!! start with 2 TBS and go from there!) and the 4 TBS of melted butter. get the lobster out of the fridge and add this mixture to the lobster pieces, i did not use all of my mayo mixture! seriously, i only used about half, so don't go dumping the whole bowl in there with reckless abandon, use discretion. you want the lobster to be coated. just coated. not soggy and dripping. that is very important.

now, to that bowl, i tossed in the finely diced rib of celery and it's chopped leaves with some chopped parsley, a pinch of maldon sea salt and  maybe a 1/8 of a tsp of celery salt. you might like more or less celery and parsley. as digital underground says, do whatcha like....

then, with all the love in your heart, you just scoop that gorgeous lobster salad into those crunchy, buttery buns and then you take a bite and, well....life will never be the same for you. i apologize for that.

  

*you can just go ahead and google for a mayonaise recipe. i use emeril lagasse's cuz he's never let me down.