Something relevant for a change

So, you can’t swing a dead cat lately without hearing the buzz about Fifty Shades of Grey….against my better judgment, and in order to qualify for free Super Saver shipping on Amazon yesterday, I surrendered to the hype and threw it in my shopping cart, but not before reading the entire preview of the first 32 pages or something and I was already aggravated, so I’m not sure why I still bought it…probably because I have FOMS*.

I’m trying to reserve judgment until I actually read the book. The entire world is obsessed with it right now so it must have some merit, but….I mean, is it me, or is the writing downright abominable? Obviously, I’m no Jodi Picoult myself so I really am in no position to judge….and again, I apologize for being a hater, and I’m only on page 32, but what would some breathtaking, big shot entrepreneur with more money than God see in this mousy, insecure, whiny hardware store employee?? I just don’t buy it…and it makes me irritable… Have you (like everyone else on this planet) read it? Do I just need to chill the eff out and give it a chance?


 *FOMS = Fear Of Missing Something, a very serious condition, obv.


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 Also, the chitter chatter about BlogHer2012 is almost as widespread as the praise for the aforementioned ridiculous book. I’m going, I think, but I’m scared. I feel like I’m going to be alone, and all of these bloggers whose blogs I read and admire are going to be running past me with their gaggle of friends and admirers and I’m gonna be standing there all “OMG, that was {insert your blog url here}!!!!!!!”.

I know I am going to feel like the dorky girl with an onion sandwich in her lunch box and a booger in her nose in elementary school that nobody will talk to but who, probably, if you just gave her a chance and an altoid, might make you laugh and would definitely have your back in a bar fight….all of this makes me wonder if I should even go and HOW STUPID IS THAT? It’s not the prom for crying out loud. The blogosphere is not a popularity contest, even though it really, really feels like it sometimes and I may never “fit in”, but I don’t blog to fit in, I blog to work out my bullshit and to become a better writer and to share my beautiful son, the best thing I ever did, and to give my words and thoughts and feelings a place to rest and I have to keep reminding myself of that because honestly, when all is said and done, don’t we all just want to be revered?

 So if you see me there, standing in the corner, staring at you with stars in my eyes, try not to automatically peg me as a creep. I probably just love your blog and am too afraid to come say hello…and I promise, there isn't an onion sandwich in my lunchbox


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