happy birthday, sweet boy....

My Dear Little Ben,

Wednesday, you turned one. I’ve been trying to write this letter to you for a week, and I have been struggling. No words seem big enough or important enough to share the page with my baby’s first birthday. I feel like all the things I have written to you in months past I want to say to you again, only this time, all at once and bigger and louder and brighter with spotlights and streamers and a brass band…

but even that doesn’t seem like nearly enough….

and all of that fanfare isn’t necessary anyway because all that really matters is said in silence…when I hold you to my chest at 3am and your tiny heart beats against mine until you slide up and fall asleep with your head on my pillow; when we watch tv together on the couch and you start to get sleepy and you gently rub my arm with your tiny, soft hands; when you crawl across the room in the middle of a game of catch, just to lay your head in my lap for a minute; when you smile at me….you have made my life worth living, little one.

The first couple of days of your life seem like yesterday, but at the same time, they seem like a million years ago. This has been both the most challenging and the BEST year of my life. You have taught me things I never even thought to wonder about, you have forced me to look at myself and take responsibility. I’m still working, every day, to be better for you and I will never stop. You deserve the best, my baby. The very best of everything in life.

On this first birthday, with your whole life ahead of you, please know that you can be ANYTHING you want to be…take the time to think long and hard at the decisions you will make and then, give those choices 100% of your commitment, your passion and your energy. Listen to your heart. Listen to your head, too, but your heart is more important. If you can’t hear what your heart is telling you, ask your momma. Be true to yourself. Be thankful, gracious and respectful. Never take for granted the many, many gifts you have been given and always remember how many other people are so much less fortunate than you are. Share your wealth with them freely. Do not judge, that’s not your job. Know that love is love, no matter who it is shared between. Support that love and nurture it at all costs because at the end of the day, love is the only thing in this life that really matters. Above all, love your mom.

My Ben…I am so proud of you, little one. You have grown so much and learned so much. I see a curiosity in your eyes and a fire in your little soul that is so amazing to me and I can’t wait to share with you all the adventures of your life.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for the gift that was given to me one year ago. Happy, Happy Birthday, my sweet love.

I love you with my whole heart,

Mommy

6 months

my sweet little boy...how did you get to be 6 months old? when did this happen? i am positive that just 5 minutes ago you were laying on my chest in the OR, still warm from being inside me, wrapped in a dinosaur blanket with a little pink & blue hat on your head, pinching my nose. at that moment, my heart was so full of love for you it was unfathomable that i could ever love you more, and yet here we are, 6 and a half months later, and i love you infinitely more. every day, your personality shines a little more, you get more independant and more opinionated, funnier and more loveable. you are the perfect, perfect little boy for me and i am so in love with you. i am so torn between the excitement of seeing who you will become tomorrow and the heartbreak of watching you grow. i am so proud of you, of your independant little spirit and your hysterical sense of humor. you are so smart and so trusting and such a joy to be around. i am the luckiest. the luckiest mom in the universe...sweet baby...thank you for picking me. i am forever thankful and forever humbled. you have gifted my heart with a capacity for love that i never even fathomed before i met you. you are the reason i breathe.

i waited for his 6 month well visit to make this post so i could include his hurculean stats, he's actually 6 and a half months now, which is a pretty big deal if you ask him :) he got his immunizations without so much as a flinch (although he is a little cranky this morning in the aftermath) and is hitting all of his milestones perfectly. i know i keep saying it, but i am so, so proud of him.

weight: 21 lb. 15.5 oz. (so 22 lb., duh, but then he peed after the doctor weighed him...all over the exam table AND the doctor so....maybe less? that's my boy!)

height: 29 1/4''

(over the 95th% for both)

teeth: 2 on the bottom, both came in at the exact same time at exactly 6 months

sleeping: awesome! STTN for the first time the night he turned 6 months and hasn't looked back since! he is a total rock star!

eating: 4 bottles a day, 7-8oz each plus fruit and cereal for breakfast and veggies and yogurt for dinner.

loves: his rainforest exersaucer, sophie the giraffe, his bear named harry, banana yogurt, splashing in the pool, mommy & daddy and his aden & anias muslin blankets...

hates: the texture of pureed fresh peas...and that's pretty much it! he is such a lover!

skills: rolling over like crazy, sitting up, hugging mommy & daddy, grabbing for his spoon, practicing the sign for "milk", laughing hysterically at the sign for "all gone", singing loudly...really, really loudly. especially at 6:00 in the morning.

answers to: monkey, monkerson, monker, monker-de-jibs, de-jibs, ben vereen, benjamin netanyahu, ben rothlesburger, benny-bone-jones,  kavasha.

love. you are so handsome, so smart, so funny, so gentle, so charismatic, so loving. everything i hoped you and imagned you would be. i am so proud and so lucky i get to be your mama.

check this kid out!!!

look who can sit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok yeah, so he's still a bit of a tripod but he's like a week away from driving or something. i might pass out.
this kid is perfection.

first laughs

it's true what they say that there is no sweeter sound in the world than your baby's first laugh....i was giving ben a bath last night and i decided to try out his little squirty bath toys for the first time cuz he seemed ready and my reward?  was awesome.