this is the story of a girl...

I have this friend who used to be in a band.

You might have heard of them.

Anyway, I use the word “friend” loosely…or rather, creatively. In this instance, it’s sort of like:

Friend  /frend/ (n): this super cute guy in a band that I fell in love with on the spot one day back in 2000 when I was standing in Nordstrom and their video came on and I wasn’t really paying attention but thought to myself  “oh hey, I like this song!” and so I glanced up and almost fainted right there at the register… and who, today, calls me by name, kisses me hello every time I see him and makes up mind numbingly elaborate stories denying that the songs he writes are about his surreptitious and undying love for yours truly (even though we all know the truth...“I love a girl in California, but I married a girl up in New York”? you’re not fooling anybody), but who definitely does NOT call me on the phone and ask to go grab lunch or take our boys on a playdate or something. Heavens no, that would be absurd. So is he technically my “friend”? Well, Potato, Po-tah-toe.

Anywhoo….Pretty sure I left the mall that day with the CD in hand, devouring and memorizing every word of the liner notes before I pulled into my driveway.

Go big or go home, folks. I don’t do crushes half way.

I spent 2000-2001 listening to that CD backwards and forwards on repeat incessantly until everyone around me probably wanted to shoot themselves in the eardrums. Until the obsession slowly faded….and my love for alt rock gave way to a short affair with techno and electronica (I don’t know.)…when I stumbled out of that phase,dazed and more than a little confused, I found myself laying out in the sun on my roof in Jackson Heights, Queens (how I would up in Queens is another story for another day) with that old cd in my walkman – yes, i said walkman - I know. can you handle it? I was totally consumed by sense memory. Out of nowhere, a light went on and the liner-note cramming I had done all those years ago all of the sudden proved useful….these guys…this band…they were from Long Island, if memory was serving me correctly, and mother of god I could not get my bikini clad ass down the stairs fast enough to google that shizz.

So there I am, a week or so later, sweating my ass off in a tiny, divey, biker bar in Port Jefferson, 2 feet from the stage, completely unaware that I was standing on the precipice of the moment that would ultimately change the entire course of my life.

He walked out onto that stage, this man who had been serenading me via sony walkman all this time, whom I had been daydreaming about, obsessing over and internet stalking for years. Close enough to touch, real and in the flesh and more beautiful than I ever even imagined. My jaw dropped and my heart slammed into my stomach like it had just been poured full of concrete….and I was a goner. Wrap it up.

After that fateful show, he came down to mingle with the handful of people, most of whom he seemed to know quite well and I stood, like a deer in the headlights, paralyzed by fear, salivating. The very definition of Stalker Creep. The friend that so mercifully tagged along for this drool-a-palooza decided she couldn’t take it anymore and went to him, took him by the elbow and announced that her friend over there, the one with the crazy eyes, panting? Well, that girl wanted to say hello but couldn’t manage to move her feet, and would he be so kind as to just, I don’t know, WAVE or something?

Looking at these pictures now gets me totally hysterical. I was a shaking, twitching, sweating, nervous wreck. I still shudder thinking about the asinine things that came out of my mouth that night...and I smile, thinking about how sweet he was to this hot mess who couldn’t for the life of her gain her composure.

I didn't have a clue that my future husband was at that bar that night, shouting requests from the back of the room. I didn’t even meet him until 6 months and countless shows later, but I always heard him, hollering from the back…of course, if you’d asked me then, I’d have sworn to you I’d never love anyone other than John ever, ever again. That didn’t turn out to be the case, but do I still have a colossal, shameless crush on him? You betcha. Youuuu betcha.

When I think back on all the moments that have belonged to me, the most fascinating ones are the ones where, unbeknownst to me at the time, the road forked off in a new direction. Had I made even the slightest different choice, to go to Macy’s that day rather than Nordstrom for example, I wouldn’t be sitting here today. I would never have met my husband, I wouldn’t have my son. Where would I be? Who would I know? It’s enough to blow your mind if you think about it too hard.

So twelve years later, here we are. The memories are plentiful, the laughs, the embarrassments, the totally cockamamie things that continue to come out of my mouth, the kisses, the hugs, and THE MUSIC have filled my life with a happiness I can’t explain. Directly and indirectly. And there was John, essentially the catalyst to all of it. I can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Montauk, 2006

"if you can't find your way then the way finds you
everyday you're defined by the things you do
everyday that you wake you're reborn brand new
so get up find your feet and walk in new shoes again"

~jh

 

remember my big winning streak?

anyone? anyone? when i won like 3 totally rad things in the span of like a week? starting with the tickets to see Maroon 5 at Jones Beach??

well, the show was last friday and we had a good old time, es expected!!! unfortch, i was not able to make magic happen for my sweet friend and get her into adam levine's pants, but there's always next year and steadfast determinationis the name of the game. we ARE getting closer, however....our seats were actually better this year than last, big props to walk 97.5 for the freebies!

however, while our seats were closer, we both agreed that last year's show was much better...there was just something missing this year...some energy or something, which was a real shame....BUT it was still a great show. train was awwwwweeeesome, which i never expected. we really enjoyed their set a lot and actually, my camera kicked the bucket about 2 minutes into maroon 5's set anyway, so all the (pretty crappy) concert pics i have are of train so pretty much i am just going with that i had a great time at the train show and next year, those M5 boys have a lot to make up to us....

also, gavin degraw was supposed to open but i guess he had an unfortunate accident earlier this month? i don't get to the news much these days....so that's a bummer for him cuz i really dig that guy, but i really dig matt nathanson even more (and if you ever get the chance to see him live, drop everything in the world and run there because he is another one of my imaginary boyfriends and you will be so entertained you will just want to kiss him and then shotgun some beers with him. he is the definition of bitchin'.) and, as it turns out, ole' matty-boy was the stand in for mr degraw at this show, but as previously touched upon, i never hear about anything till it's too late so we strolled into the theatre from our skinny girl margarita tailgate party just in time to hear him say his 'thank you and goodbye' and i am pretty upset about that still.....

but anyway, here's some pics!!! good times with a good friend. love this girl....

ok wait. i have to break up the collage party here for a second to talk about this kid with the spikey ponytails all over his head. have you ever seen anything more hilarious or ridiculous? we were in love with this guy and him and his buddy were seriously rocking OUT the whole show. they knew every word and were dancing and jumping and screaming...it was too cute! i think i might have watched the two of them almost as much as i watched the actual show. i want this kid in front of me at every concert from now on.

after the show, we got stuck in some horrendous mess on the expressway and poor michele was having a meltdown becasue that crazy girl had not one but TWO weddings the next day. "WEDDINGPALOOZA" she called it, can you even? and not only was she attending both, she was actually a bridesmaid in the first one so she had to be at her girlfriend's house at SIX-THIRTY-IN-THE-(you've got to be kidding me)-MORNING! somehow, we made it home and she survived weddingpalooza '11....next summer, adam levine will be thankful for that when we are flashing him fromt he front row :)

ahahahaha.....just kidding...(not kidding, actually).

wordless wednesday...with a couple of words.

as previously stated, it is NOT always all about mr. david cook....but sometimes? it is. like today for example....
i won passes (winning again. see?) to an acoustic cafe show in connecticut where this knucklehead will be strumming his guitar and i will be dead from a major case of the swoons.

it's been too long, my love....too, too long.

if, by some miracle i survive, i will do a massive photo dump tomorrow of the hotness....

in the meantime, i will be just over here breathing into a paper bag....

winning!

ok, so i know that that catchphrase is SO last month but i'm not just tossing out gratuitous

charlie sheen crazyisms, I ACTUALLY AM WINNING!

i am seriously so excited….driving in to work this morning, in the hov lane at 70mph (oh dear), the dj on our goofy adult contemporary station starts talking about maroon 5 at jones beach this summer, and i perk up cuz i have been meaning to check the jones beach schedule for the last 2 weeks to see if they had updated with any new concert announcements because jones beach is the coolest place on the planet to see a concert! check it out…it’s right on the water…like last year? the new kids on the block jumped into the bay in the middle of their set. true story. i wasn't there, and the 15 year old girl inside of me who was definitely going to marry donnie wahlberg dies a little every time i think about that, but it is a true story nonetheless...

nothing says ‘summer’ to me like a show at jones beach with the humid sea breeze turning my hair into an afro! other than that whole ‘serial killer’ investigation thing, the skeletal remains of hookers stroon to and fro,  it’s one of my favorite places on long island…and the list is short people. the list is short….

so there i am, keeping one ear on the radio and one ear on my snoring monkey in the backseat and then the guy says “win them before you can buy them! be caller 9!” and i’m all “no way will i win” but then a little voice said “you sure won’t if you don’t try!” so i called up and I FRIGGIN’ WON!

i tried to be cute and charming in case they were putting me on the radio but i sounded like a complete ass cuz they really caught me off guard…i mean, caller 9? wtf? i’m not sure if i was on-air or not but i made sure to have the radio on a different channel for the next 10 minutes just in case so i didn’t have to listen to myself sounding like a tool.

so my love michele, i always tell her she is one of the only friends i have that i actually like (another short list)….she has a serious THING for adam levine and i can’t say i blame her except that he’s gotta be like 6’3’’ and weighs less than i did in the 4^th grade, but whatever, he’s still sexy as all hell.

i mean, hot, right? but eat a sandwich. you're making the rest of us look bad, dude...

p.s. there were WAY more NSFW versions of this picture available...google it. rawr.

i definitely won these tickets for her. we saw them together last summer at the beach when i was halfway through my pregnancy, at that stage where i still felt kind of like the cute pregnant girl and not the bloated, puffy, pissed off beached whale that emerged in my last trimester who would get all stabby and scream profanity at ‘house hunters’. anyway, we seriously had SO much fun that i promised her next year we would splurge and get tickets up front no matter what they cost and now we don’t have to spend anything cuz i am WINNING!

 btw, committing to something like that speaks volumes when mr. david cook is not the artist in question. …but i digress....

oh david cook, what are you doing here? get off my blog. it's not about YOU all the time. jeez.

So yeah! i’m WINNING! only for real, so put that in your crack pipe and smoke it, chuck…

AND i’m also winning because tomorrow night, me and the hubs scored some sweeeeeeet seats to see the mets play my l.a. dodgers from a friend of his who works for the company who owns the mets so not only do i get to see my beloved hometeam whoop some ny booty, i get to do it at cool-ass citi-field in seats 3 rows off the dugout with this view of david wright’s butt:

aaaaaaaand access to the delta club! what? whose life is this?