whatever i’m making, i will always find the smallest bowl that will possibly fit whatever needs to go in it. clearly, this is some kind of neurosis. i don’t know why i do it. it’s really annoying. whenever i’m watching food network, which, let’s face it, is pretty much 24 hours a day, i see them all using these huge, glamorous bowls to stir up sauces and emulsify dressings and whip heavy cream and i am so jealous that they don’t have the same mania as i do. i even bought that glamorous bowl set that they use from kohl’s. i immediately put it all the way in the back of my cabinet, behind the panini maker. now you KNOW if there’s a panini maker in front of a stack of heavy, glass bowls, i’m definitely too lazy to do the acrobatics required to drag them out….of course, it wouldn’t be very enjoyable to watch paula deen try to melt 3 sticks of butter in a ramekin….but that’s exactly what i would do. and the butter would drip over the side when i was trying to stir it and get all over my counter and piss me off and then, since i also have a total paranoia about salmonella and diphtheria, i would have to drag out the Clorox wipes and move over the stupid bottle drying rack that is taking up pretty much ALL of my available counter space these days (a rant for another day) and the whole time i would just be getting more and more pissed off thinking WHY did i not just use a BIGGER BOWL?? And i do this all the time. all the time. and even at the moment i am choosing the thimble to mix my pancake batter, i am saying to myself “just use the big, red, melamine mixing bowl right there. it’s right there. just use it!” but i can’t make myself do it. what the hell?
this morning, i sat down at my desk to enjoy my seriously delicious packet of instant oatmeal (right) and instead of just using the tupperware bowl i leave here for exactly this type of thing, i rooted around the cupboard until i found, in the very back, this itty bitty porcelain tea cup. when i put the oatmeal in there and added the water, the whole mess came right up to the rim of the cup, so i could hardly even stir it and then, halfway through, i realized that since there wasn’t even enough room in the damned cup for me to stick my spoon in and mix it without splurping thick, sticky oatmeal juice all over my desk, the oats at the bottom of the cup were still dry, making my breakfast an even less enjoyable experience. really. mornings are difficult enough. why do i do this to myself? does this condition have a name? bigbowlophobia? where can i get treatment?