Does anybody know CPR?
She is dying.
And I don’t know how to save her. I've got such tremendous stress over this, this silly little blog.
I've lost that lovin’ feelin’…
It’s kind of like when you miss a workout. And then you miss the next one too. And the one after that. And then you just stop going altogether because that momentum you’d built up at great cost? Just completely fizzled out in like 1/64th the amount of time it took to build it in the first place. Don't ask me how I know about such things, I just do.
I feel like my heart is SO heavy lately. I can barely get through the day on auto-pilot let alone tap into my creativity to bang out a post that will scratch my itch. I feel like I am driving a toy tractor inside a shoe box. Drive drive drive…crash into the wall….drive drive drive….crash into the wall. No doors, no way out, no hope for change, just driving and crashing into the wall over and over again. Like, how many times do I keep doing this till I finally just give up, turn the engine off, get off the tractor and sit on the floor of the box, listeless? I think I’m close.
But they say Spring is around the corner. I guess that is supposed to invigorate me? I've seen snapshot of daffodil shoots breaking the frozen earth on Instagram. They say in the spring you feel renewed, is that right? I'll let you know.
In the meantime, don't worry about me. It's probably just PMS anyway, that dirty whore.