Friday, February 22, 2013

is there a doctor in the house?

Does anybody know CPR?

My blog.

She is dying.

And I don’t know how to save her. I've got such tremendous stress over this, this silly little blog.

I've lost that lovin’ feelin’…

It’s kind of like when you miss a workout. And then you miss the next one too. And the one after that. And then you just stop going altogether because that momentum you’d built up at great cost? Just completely fizzled out in like 1/64th the amount of time it took to build it in the first place. Don't ask me how I know about such things, I just do.

I feel like my heart is SO heavy lately. I can barely get through the day on auto-pilot let alone tap into my creativity to bang out a post that will scratch my itch. I feel like I am driving a toy tractor inside a shoe box. Drive drive drive…crash into the wall….drive drive drive….crash into the wall. No doors, no way out, no hope for change, just driving and crashing into the wall over and over again. Like, how many times do I keep doing this till I finally just give up, turn the engine off, get off the tractor and sit on the floor of the box, listeless? I think I’m close.

But they say Spring is around the corner. I guess that is supposed to invigorate me? I've seen snapshot of daffodil shoots breaking the frozen earth on Instagram. They say in the spring you feel renewed, is that right?  I'll let you know.

In the meantime, don't worry about me. It's probably just PMS anyway, that dirty whore.



Lisamarie said...

Oh friend... I still love your blog so much. Clearly, my own blog is in a coma right now. Life takes some turns and before you know it, I have no desire to go from sitting behind my computer at work to sitting on the couch with a computer on my lap. One day.. maybe Spring ... I will resume. But you, friend, but continue. You are so funny beyond the bounds that I have put upon myself. Email me at the very least! And come back to California. We miss you.

Kim said...

You! I understand your feelings. You are so great and you have so much going on, its hard to jump to blog and keep it light and lovely and silly. Please know that I'm here for you whenever you're feeling down or out, not just when there's lots to laugh about over wine. You're amazing! Blog when you can and because you want to, not because its a chore. And maybe have another cupcake ♡