“I feel like a long a tailed cat in a room full of rockers…”
~my friend Kathy
I wish I could take credit for that quote. It’s about the most awesome thing I ever heard, truly.
The other day, after my particularly pathetic and whiny post, I started feeling like I should maybe make a separate, private blog where all I do is whine and complain and cry and detail the every nuance of my depression and angst. Because really, who wants to read about that? Why am I putting my emotional vomit out there for all the world (or all the 6 of you) to see? Is it not my duty, if I am at all able, to spew whatever positivity and light I can muster out into this world that is already so fraught with despair? Nobody likes a sad-sack and deep down, I just want to be liked.
But then, the other little voice in my head (yes, there are a few voices. Add it to the list of things for which I need to be medicated) said it’s YOUR blog! And these are YOUR feelings! And this is YOUR story! And maybe one day, after years of therapy and millions of hugs and kisses from the sweet boy and hopefully, a new address with the zip code of someplace warm and inspiring, someone who is just beginning her journey, who is hurting and confused will find her way here, and know that if I can get through this, so can she….or, at the very least, I can look back at my carefully chosen words and feel like my emotions found a place to rest. That’s enough for me. So I know that, especially lately, my posts haven’t been entirely uplifting, filled with pretty pictures and happy crap. Bear with me while I work this out.
In case you’re not following the dramz on Instagram, Benny had an accident yesterday, because when it rains, it pours, right? Being not so steady on his new legs, he took a little spill whilst trying to stick his head in the toilet (or something?) and slipped, hitting his bottom lip on the toilet seat and knocking his little jaw shut right down on his tongue. I picked him up to comfort him and quickly realized that I was covered in blood, which I then discovered was coming from his tongue, which he almost bit clear through and basically, I lost it. He’s better today, much better, but yesterday was a rough one, full of tears (from both of us) and an exorbitant amount of kisses and cuddles and ice pops. There is NOTHING worse than seeing your baby in pain. Nothing.
On that note, I thought today I would just try and think of some things that are happy so…
Things That Are Happy
- I am going out for dinner and wine tonight with my friend Michele. Much needed. Love this girl.
- Saturday, Benny and I have the whole afternoon to ourselves while Scott goes to a hockey game and we are going to have a good time….plans TBD
- My friend Jack is at work today. I love this guy. He has the sweetest heart.
- I am pretty sure I am going to get on the Weight Watchers bandwagon. I need direction and accountability. I have lost focus and I feel like shit. It’s time to take at least a small step in the right direction.
- To celebrate that, I am going to buy myself a new denim jacket and this dress which I am obsessed with. Maybe with my trusty old gold gladiators for the first hot day of spring? Are gladiators so 3 years ago or am I still ok to wear them? Yay for yellow!!
- I am pretty sure my February birchbox will be in my mailbox when I get home tonight!
- It’s Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which is awesome. duh. I think this week went pretty fast!
- I’m wearing my favorite sweater today. and earrings. That never happens.
- I heard on the radio gossip segment this morning that Us! Magazine is doing an expose on Courtney from The Bachelor and I am really excited. I probably won’t actually read it, but I WILL flip through it in the grocery store and I hope they take that bitch down. Honestly. She is horrid.. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the pieces of dirt they have on her is that she has an entire closet of coats made from puppy skin and ladybug wings or something.
That’s all I got.