Thursday, February 9, 2012

things that are happy

“I feel like a long a tailed cat in a room full of rockers…”
~my friend Kathy

I wish I could take credit for that quote. It’s about the most awesome thing I ever heard, truly.

The other day, after my particularly pathetic and whiny post, I started feeling like I should maybe make a separate, private blog where all I do is whine and complain and cry and detail the every nuance of my depression and angst. Because really, who wants to read about that? Why am I putting my emotional vomit out there for all the world (or all the 6 of you) to see? Is it not my duty, if I am at all able, to spew whatever positivity and light I can muster out into this world that is already so fraught with despair? Nobody likes a sad-sack and deep down, I just want to be liked.

But then, the other little voice in my head (yes, there are a few voices. Add it to the list of things for which I need to be medicated) said it’s YOUR blog! And these are YOUR feelings! And this is YOUR story! And maybe one day, after years of therapy and millions of hugs and kisses from the sweet boy and hopefully, a new address with the zip code of someplace warm and inspiring, someone who is just beginning her journey, who is hurting and confused will find her way here, and know that if I can get through this, so can she….or, at the very least, I can look back at my carefully chosen words and feel like my emotions found a place to rest. That’s enough for me. So I know that, especially lately, my posts haven’t been entirely uplifting, filled with pretty pictures and happy crap.  Bear with me while I work this out.

In case you’re not following the dramz on Instagram, Benny had an accident yesterday, because when it rains, it pours, right? Being not so steady on his new legs, he took a little spill whilst trying to stick his head in the toilet (or something?) and slipped, hitting his bottom lip on the toilet seat and knocking his little jaw shut right down on his tongue. I picked him up to comfort him and quickly realized that I was covered in blood, which I then discovered was coming from his tongue, which he almost bit clear through and basically, I lost it. He’s better today, much better, but yesterday was a rough one, full of tears (from both of us) and an exorbitant amount of kisses and cuddles and ice pops. There is NOTHING worse than seeing your baby in pain. Nothing.

On that note, I thought today I would just try and think of some things that are happy so…

Things That Are Happy

  • I am going out for dinner and wine tonight with my friend Michele. Much needed. Love this girl.

  • Saturday, Benny and I have the whole afternoon to ourselves while Scott goes to a hockey game and we are going to have a good time….plans TBD
  • My friend Jack is at work today. I love this guy. He has the sweetest heart.

  • I am pretty sure I am going to get on the Weight Watchers bandwagon. I need direction and accountability. I have lost focus and I feel like shit. It’s time to take at least a small step in the right direction.
  • To celebrate that, I am going to buy myself a new denim jacket and this dress which I am obsessed with. Maybe with my trusty old gold gladiators for the first hot day of spring? Are gladiators so 3 years ago or am I still ok to wear them? Yay for yellow!!

  • I am pretty sure my February birchbox will be in my mailbox when I get home tonight!
  • It’s Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which is awesome. duh. I think this week went pretty fast!
  • I’m wearing my favorite sweater today. and earrings. That never happens.
  • I heard on the radio gossip segment this morning that Us! Magazine is doing an expose on Courtney from The Bachelor and I am really excited. I probably won’t actually read it, but I WILL flip through it in the grocery store and I hope they take that bitch down. Honestly. She is horrid.. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the pieces of dirt they have on her is that she has an entire closet of coats made from puppy skin and ladybug wings or something.
That’s all I got.


noreenmarie said...

Oooh birchbox! Mine says it'll ship tomorrow? I wish I would get it before I leave Saturday AM.

Great blog! But you are right, it's YOUR blog, and you can say anything you want. Everyone has down moments, no one is expected to be happy all the damn time. ;))

Where are you two gorgeous women going tonight? Have fun!
OMG, poor Benny! That sounds awful. :( Did you have to take him to the hospital? Hope it heals quickly. xoxo

Amber said...

Poor sweet Ben! I hate when they start walking! So wobbly and scary. I was glad Jax didn't walk until he was 14 months, he was so old he had pretty good balance and almost never fell. I DON'T THINK I AM GOING TO BE SO LUCKY WITH AUBREE, SHE IS ALREADY PULLING UP. grrr...I hate the caps lock key, sorry. too lazy to retype so love me anyway, k? Have fun tonite and I love that dress!

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

OH no! Terrible Friend Award------>right here. Me. I'm SO SAD I just now found about poor baby Ben's injury! OH NO OH NO!! A wobbly fall, a bump on the toilet, and a tongue bite?! That is the WORST! I'm so sad. :( When H was first standing he stood up in the tub and his slippery little fat body tumbled right over the side, and he fell directly on his head. So scary these times...bless your heart for having to go through it! Mama's have a tough job (all the time), but especially when trying to comfort poor sweet hurt babies when trying not to be visibly shaken and scared to death! I really hope he is on the mend and feeling better. Send him a smooch for me? MUAH!

Now, on to the happies...I love this list!
1)dinner wine and gal pals--sometimes these nights are just what the doctor ordered. hope you ENJOYED yourself!!
2)You and sweet boy are going to have such a great time together...I love the times when Hudson and I are alone. These times usually involve lots of cuddles. :)
3)Jack looks like a pretty cool dude.
4) I've lost focus too. :( Will you let me know how WW goes if you decide to do it?
5)that is a REALLY cute dress. Wowza. It will rock with your pretty blond hair!!
6)yay for birchbox. I still haven't signed up. Aaargh.
7)and a big YAY for the weekend!! :D
8)isn't it great how clothes can completely change our day! hooray for favorites and feeling cute!!
9)you better believe I'll be picking up that magazine! STRONGLY dislike her. yuck.

STAY HAPPY my friend!! I'm going to send you a message with my NEWS... :D xoxoxo

Skye said...

So Sorry Benny got hurt- that just sucks. You are right though, there is nothing worse than seeing your baby in pain - awww - poor guy - i hope he is healing up ok! :(
Weightwatchers - yeah - I Hear ya - I started at the beginning of January after a year of procrastinating. You DO have to be ready to do anything like that... do it when you're ready & you'll succeed! :)
{Try to} Have a great day mama!

Harley said...

gladiators are awesome.