I was hoping to bounce back over here from my weekend hiatus all full of puppies and rainbows and good cheer…or give it the old college try anyway…and I still want to, you know? cuz being bummed out all the time is no fun. It just feels like whenever I work my ass off to pull myself back together emotionally, I get smacked with another setback. Some good things have happened to me lately, and I count my blessings but it seems like one step forward, two steps back these days more than I ever remember…..
I was looking forward to things like taking Benny to Sesame Place this summer…I was looking forward to that more than I have looked forward to ANYTHING in a really, really long time.
Anyway, our renter put an offer in on a house, which she thinks got accepted. Basically, this means that, until we find a suitable tenant to replace her, we have to swallow the entire cost of that mortgage on top of the loss we already take on it every month even when we do get rental income….without going into details, suffice it to say that’s really a lot of money. Like, just short of my entire salary, and, well, I don’t know what we’re going to do. Pollyanna would tell me it won’t last forever, but right now, it’s more than I can take, for however long it lasts. I just heard the news and already the weight is so heavy on me that I can barely breathe.
I’m thankful. I’m thankful that my baby is healthy. That’s all that really matters.
Also, if anyone knows any arsenists-for-hire, I will pay them my bottom dollar to burn down the apartment.
Just kidding. (not kidding at all, actually.)
So, I need to take a break for awhile. I am putting out too much negativity and nobody wants to hear it. I need to breathe, in a room, by myself, and draw up a plan. I need to think. I won’t be gone forever….