Tuesday, August 14, 2012

if i ran the world

Today, I am going to do a fun little link up with this cutie pie, Bonnie over at Life of Bon

she had this great idea for a list…which, as you well know is one of my favorite things…ahhhh for the love of lists…anyway, a list of things that the word would be if she were in charge. Brilliant. Here are mine…

If I ran the world…

First of all, the only foods that would have calories would be the ones that are truly, truly terrible for you….like County Fair Food. you know, deep fried twinkies, etc. now, this might sound counter-intuitive, but hear me out…we have to eat to fuel our bodies, and honestly, I am all for eating as many healthy foods as we can because, for me at least, I feel good when I eat things that are good for me. unfortch, foods that are bad for me are sooooooooooo delicious….I’m talking to you, In n’ Out Double Double Animal Style. So I think that paying the price for “bad” foods is reasonable, and I am all about reason, but when you’re starving and sit down to a huge turkey sandwich with avocado, mayo and cheddar, tomato, sprouts and bacon with a side of fruit salad and some curly fries (for balance, obviously) I don’t think you should have to cash in 1200 calories for that, cuz there are tons of nutrients there. It’s just how I feel.

bastards. get in my mouth.

Still with me?
Moving on….if I ran the world…

Just by pinning a recipe, you’d automatically have all the ingredients in your kitchen and the expertise to whip it up!

um, really?

And while we’re at it, just by pinning an outfit, it would automatically be in your closet, and just by pinning a picture of some skinny, sweaty chick in tiny spandex shorts in a sports bra doing a squat, you’d automatically have her body. I mean, why not?

People would always hold doors for other people, say please and thank you and wave when you let them in your lane.

Mental illness wouldn’t exist. Neither would judging. Except for fun…judging for fun is ok, but judging to be nasty is not. This is not Mean Girls.

When you give birth, or adopt, or otherwise come to be the parent of a tiny being, you would be given a handbook with instructions that were perfectly tailored for YOUR individual baby. None of this “happiest baby on the block” crap.

There would be no cancer.

Pijamas would be considered professional attire so we could all come to work in our flannels and bunny slippers if we wanted, but if we wanted to dress up, that would be ok too. See above: no judging.

There’d be no such thing as blogger’s block.

I’d never have to hear another child with otherwise good parents call another child by a nasty name or something derogatory or racist. I’ve heard way too many children refer to their friends as “fags” or ”idiots” or even worse, racist names I won’t even type….really? Where are they learning this hate so young? It is sad. So in my world, it ends. Kids are respectful of adults and of each other.

The second a person even thinks of abusing a child, their genitals shrivel up and fall off forever.

There is a Cute Boy Channel that plays nothing but reruns of Man vs. Food, Americas Best Sandwich and David Cook concert footage 24/7….what? I’d watch it.

i've lost my mind. go link up with Bonnie.



Courtney B said...

What a FUN link up!
And I really wish you were running the world! I like your ideas :)
And this post did not help my pregnancy cravings... those pictures have me drooling, ha ha!

Amber said...

I love your list!! I would be okay living in the world you run!

Amber @ Tiny Turtles

Andi said...

So what time does the train leave....I'm going where you're in charge!

Sami said...

Hahah I love you! Can the cute boy channel include Gavin bc you know I'd watch.. duh! Also, I am still trying to calm down enough to respond to your email about your rendezous! You know I freaked out when I read that shizz! Teach me your ways ;)

Niki said...

I would officially like for you to rule the world. Please and thank you. I love the recipe ingredients and pinterest idea, and I think the world would be SUCH a great place if there were no mental illness, or judging, or (and especially) cancer!

Amber said...

AMEN Sista!! I love it all!

bonbon said...

Your list is amazing! I love the pinning food and automatically the ingredients are in the kitchen... but better yet the food already made is in the kitchen?! Now that I could go for. Also, I'm super impressed you made that little picture to advertise the link up... can I hire you to be my professional button maker?

Ashley Kristine said...

I TOTALLY agree about the pinterest thing, and about being able to wear PJ's as professional attire. Great list.
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Of Thoughts and Things

Celeste said...

I love your list.I especially love the pajama rule. If I could work in my sweat pants and slippers every day, I think I'd be a teensy bit happier. Oh, and no cancer. Such an evil, evil disease. Found you through Bonnie's link up, and I'm glad! Newest follower right here :)