Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lotsa stuff in my brain today

….I’m feeling very mood swingy….like I was ok this morning when I woke up… the deciding factor on how good a start to the day it will be directly correlates to how well Ben sleeps the night before and praise the infant Jesus, last night he actually slept, well, like a baby….and that child never sleeps like a baby. Usually, a pin dropping in China will wake him up.

Anyway, so I should be skipping right? Round off back handsprings through the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot? But then, I started feeling blue….no impetus, just blue. The PMS kind of blue, where there is no rhyme or reason, you just feel the tears welling up? I hate that. The weather outside is gorgeous, I am wearing a hot pink top, my breakfast was delicious, my kid slept awesome… WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE, HEATHER?

I need to snap out of this…..

Here’s a weird thought that just came to me…..maybe, ironically for sure, the great weather is making me panic….it sounds crazy, but stay with me…I never felt this way when I was living in California or Arizona, but here, I feel like there are really only about 5 worthwhile months of the year…the rest is just a waste of time (bad attitude, I know. I am working on it) so now that we’ve had this crazy warm spring and summer is knocking on the door, I feel so much pressure to DO! ALL! THE! THINGS!!!

Float every day….get a great tan….make sure Ben has enough sunscreen on…eat as many lobsters as possible…go to carnivals….take tons of pictures…go strawberry picking...make strawberry pie….make sure my tomatoes grow awesome and I don’t murder my cilantro like last year (sad)…find cute aviator sunglasses that don’t make me look like an asshole….farm stands…levain bakery cookies…festivals…peach cobbler from scratch and perfecting my lobster roll….afternoons at clam bar…evenings with the fireflies and a cup full of Ralph’s Italian ice…

There are just a million things to cram into spring and summer and….I’m staring out my office window and wishing I could start doing them all today!





6 comments:

insertwittytitleheremomstired said...

Let me help you out with one of those things. You're never going to find a pair of aviator sunglasses that don't make you look like an asshole. It's not you, it's everybody. Nobody can pull off aviators without looking like an asshole.
Secondly, I feel like this at least once a week. I hope you can enjoy the majority of these summer days, even if it's just you sitting in a chair on the deck having dirt thrown at you by Ben.

Emily said...

I struggle between wanting to "do it all" and wanting to relax and soak things in.

Good luck finding the right balance for you :)

Skye said...

I think its a mom thing- needing to do so much, no time to do it, all the thoughts cramming up your brain so much that it makes you have anxiety - YUP been there done that. Um like every day haha! You are not alone my friend!

Kell said...

I live in Southern California and I get the same panicky feeling when summer starts, even though it really doesn't end here. I just want to buy all the fresh strawberries and spend all my time at the beach.

Bubbly said...

Peanut, I feel this way every day of my life. Let's both remember it when we are sweating our balls off in August and begging for apples and pumpkin spice lattes.

Nancy said...

Soak it in!!! It will be an amazing time for you. Love ya!