Thursday, November 17, 2011

the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days....

please tell me it's going to get better. please somebody tell me that one day, even just one. single. day before my child packs up and heads off to college leaving us with an empty nest and much less laundry, that he WILL actually sleep straight through past 3am....i need hope. i need somebody to promise me with everything they have in them that it will happen because right now? after about 2 months straight of consistent 3am wakeups, i am close to the edge.

you know that saying "i'll sleep when i'm dead"? last night i found myself lying there at approximately 3:17, eyes wide open, being crawled on and snorted at, having my hair pulled, tiny elbow to my jugular, thinking to myself how sweet it will actually be to sleep when i am dead. i don't want to say i was praying for death cuz that's all super dramatic and morose and i don't want people getting all freaked out and calling the suicide prevention hotline on me, but laying there like a zombie with my kid wide awake, climbing on my FACE, i'd be lying if i didn't admit that for a few fleeting moments, that the sleep that will come once i am dead didn't sound like...well....a dream.

and i love my boy. i love him so much that i still smile a huge, genuine smile that i can feel right down to the center of my soul once the sun comes up enough for me to actually see his goofy face beaming at me, wide eyed and bushy tailed, but i am tired. so tired. and truthfully, i don't understand. i expected the first 3 months to be rough and sleepless. hell, i'd even have given it 6....but 11? i mean, is something wrong with him? because i talked to his doctor and she didn't seem concerned, but i am. i can't live like this. i know he just got shots, and i know he has a cold, but this was going on for weeks before any of that....in fact, he has only slept through the night for one 3 week stretch in his entire life and people? i'm scared.

please tell me it's going to get better.


hi mommy! this picture has nothing to do with me not sleeping but i’m really cute huh?
cute enough to make up for the fact that i am an 11 month old insomniac?
 no, my child. i’m sorry, but no.


Photobucket


7 comments:

Ashley {hudson's happenings} said...

:( I'm sad about this. I feel your pain....I remember those nights. Although, truthfully, they stopped around 9 months for Hudson.

Does he take a nap during the day? H doesn't seem to require a whole lot of sleep...he has never ever taken a daytime nap, but he sleeps from about 8 pm to 7 am every night. Maybe if you deprived him of a nap (which might be rough at first) then he would be extra sleepy at night?

I'm no expert though. :( Hope it gets better soon. If not, I would totally ask the Dr. again.

Thinking of you! xoxo

Gian said...

I'm a believer in that sleep begets sleep, and early bedtimes are key. Of course, this works with Max and he's the only one i have experience with, lol, but i really liked Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child or whatever it's called. Have you read that? I put Max down between 6:30-7 and he stays asleep till about 6-7 JUST about every night. Do you have Ben in his own room? Do you feed him at night when he wakes? That last one is the biggest thing that keeps babies waking up, b/c their little tummies get programmed. Anyhow, hang in there, and if you haven't already read that book! :)

Kelli B said...

I TOTALLY agree with Gian. Sleep does beget sleep. My boys (15 months and 3) always sleep better at night when they get decent naps. Makes no sense, I know, but if they nap for more than three hours, I know I will get a peaceful nights sleep. If they only nap for an hour, I know we will have a rough night ahead of us. I also wait a few minutes before I go into their rooms in the middle of the night because they both talk and yell in their sleep and if I go in there right away, it wakes them up more. Good luck! It will get better!!

Andi said...

I love you guys. I love Benny Boy.
I know you don't want to hear it, but you can't keep up this misery, my love. :) Sleep Train...it's the new black. ;) One week. I'm telling you you will be a whole new family. :)

Laurie Anne said...

I'm so sorry he isn't sleeping ;( that photo of him is pretty much the moay adorable thing ever though. I hope he gets the hang in the sleep thing soon. xoxo

insertwittytitleheremomstired said...

I hate that you're not getting sleep. Are you willing to move him to his own room? Just because he's up at night doesn't mean you need to be up. I remember nights, and it still happens, where Emberly is up playing with her toys, but content. I'm hoping it's just a phase for Benny, but it's getting a little too long for a phase. :( It will eventually get better. Promise.

Amber said...

Okay now I am officially scared. My sweet baby girl is almost 7 months and she is till up 2 or 3 times a night and I keep thinking we are almost about to drop off that 1am feeding and now I find out your 11 month old is still up all night???!!! AAAHHHHH! Sleep deprivation is TORTURE!!!! I will pray for you if you pray for me!!??