Actually, sort of 4. FOUR hairdryers, ok?
Let me just start this little diatribe off by explaining that my hair? Is not manageable. We’ve touched on this before, but I just need to reiterate that…it’s curly…and frizzy…and two totally different textures on top and underneath so, I am not being a snob when I say I can’t use a Conair dryer from Target, I am speaking out of necessity….I mean, if you want me to be presentable, of course. And I ain’t about going to the stop n’ shop looking like Witch Hazel from the Bugs Bunny cartoons….even though we live in Ronkonkoma so does it matter? Really? I mean, really.
So here we go. Back in December, I decided that my old, trusty Hot Tools whatever dryer, which honestly, had served me well enough, was starting to die a slow, painful death. I cleaned out its lint trap, gave it a kiss….to no avail. It was still blowing lukewarm air, so, clutching my “20% off any item!!!” Ulta coupon (LOVE those things!), I marched right in and picked myself up the sparkly new t3 Veloce I had been stalking for Christmuhkwanzikkuh.
This dryer? Changed my life. and ruined me for other dryers forever. But I didn’t know that…..until it died …five months after I bought it. True story. A $100 hair dryer should have a life expectancy of more than 5 months, am I wrong? But the things it did to my hair…..oh man. It got super, scorching hot. Hot enough to straighten out any krink, tame any cowlick…even on only slightly damp hair! There are magic in those coils…but I was pissed.
Add to this, the fact that at around the 3 month mark, out of nowhere, the director nozzle just started popping off the dryer mid-blow out…so there I was trying to stick this thing back on the nose of my dryer to finish my hair, but it was the temperature of the earth’s core, so I was screaming and burning my fingers and trying to position it on the bathroom rug and just jam the dryer into it without touching it…..like, 8 times every morning, ok?
Whatever. So I threw it in the garbage in a fit of rage and marched right back to Ulta where I purchased this PIECE. OF. JUNK.
It looked like it had potential, right? And it came with a bottle of argan oil, which my hair drinks like a thirsty camel….I was optimistic…..until I got home and tried it out…..
Seriously, I have never in all of my life, used a blow dryer that poofed my hair out the way this one did. The high heat setting was warm, at best and whatever ionic nonsense it was supposedly blowing fluffed up my cuticle so bad my hair was curling in every direction.
I could not return it fast enough. I spent 3 days with my hair air dried (sorry world) waiting for the next hopeful to arrive from Folica.com. I spend lots of hours researching this bad girl….certain that she was the dryer for me…..
In a word? Nope.
The result was definitely better than that Argan Heat mess, but for a “professional” dryer that retails for over $140? My hair was still course, and poofy. And it did NOT a cowlick tame….
It sounds dramatic, which I have been known to be from time to time, I’ll just be honest….but truly, I felt like crying. It was then that I knew I was ruined for all other dryers and had no choice to march BACK to Ulta, AGAIN, with my tail between my legs, and purchase another t3 Veloce…..
Boy oh boy did it just grind every gear I have. This is SO against my principles. I hold grudges. I stay mad and I am MAD at this company….still mad….
But damn, my hair? Looks fantastic.