Thursday, June 28, 2012

Today is a very special day...



Wayyyy back when I was waffling on the fence over whether or not I (we) really wanted to have a baby, I used to do a lot of “if I got pregnant this month, baby would be born in….1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9….APRIL! Yes! Yes! An April baby!! Perfect perfect! .complete with big red “X”s on the calendar telling me when we needed to…uh…yeah, ok. I’m not going to go explaining the birds & the bees right now, but you get the idea…

So there, I was, plotting this all out in my imagination because, you know, these things are totally in my control, right? duh. And also because having a baby is this perfectly precious, incredible thing where nothing ever goes wrong or is hard and all of the whole experience is, like, drenched in spun pink sugar, flecks of glitter and rainbows, so obvs just deciding when I wanted this angel baby’s birthday to be was going to be the most difficult part of the whole process….the rest?? piece of cake.

So I decided I wanted this baby to share a birthday with my momma.

June 28th.




Out of the 365 days in the year, no other day made sense to me. It was as good as done in my mind, and when I plotted all the coordinates and realized that according to x, y & z, it was actually completely possible to get my due date within a few days, well shit. Done and DONE, right?

Yeah…um..nope.

So, 5 miscarriages, a lot of tears, more fence riding, hemming and hawing, all my hard work be damned, ultimately just deciding to throw in the towel on the whole plan and then, suddenly, along came my Bennett….

Not on June 28th . Imagine that.

So there I am, 8 months huge, talking to the doc about scheduling my c-section and she tells me they have the OR on Tuesdays and will be scheduling me the Tuesday before my official due date of New Years Eve….I think nothing of this, mostly because I am paralyzed by utter fear and the HOLY SHIT reality of it all….It wasn’t until I was snuggling my tiny nugget of puffy eyes and sweet newborn skin, feeling terribly guilty that he has such a difficult birthday to celebrate, pondering throwing “half birthday” parties for him so he and his friends can go in the pool (putting the cart before the horse a bit? Me? never.) when I went back to counting….January, February, March, April, May, JUNE!!!! June!!!!!!!!!!! June 28th.

Serendipity, in it’s sweetest, most pure form….

So today, on this very, very special day, I say Happy Birthday to the most amazing momma the world ever was blessed to know…I was not worthy of you. I am lucky beyond all compare to have called you mine. You were the very first Love of my Life. And I also say Happy Half Birthday to my sweet Bennett. Little Boy, you have no idea how much your Grandma would have loved you. You would have been the light of her life….more than I was. More than anything.

What a special day….nothing but hearts flying out of my eyes over here….celebrate with us!




Photobucket

11 comments:

Andi said...

tears again. I haz 'em.

noreenmarie said...

Me too... loved this. :) xoxo

Amber said...

Happy Half Birthday Benny Bear! And Happy Birthday to your sweet Mama who no doubt is celebrating right along with you and her beautiful grand baby:) Luv ya sweet girl:)

Sami said...

Loved this so much. Happy 1/2 birthday to Benny and Happy Birthday to your beautiful Momma. Thinking about you all day sweetness!

Elaine said...

Things happen for a reason. Happy half birthday Bennett.

insertwittytitleheremomstired said...

Such a wonderful day to celebrate an amazing woman. What blessings you truly have today, Rach. Your mom has eyes everywhere watching over you and Bennett. Why do you think you have so many Ted's?

insertwittytitleheremomstired said...

Such a wonderful day to celebrate an amazing woman. What blessings you truly have today, Rach. Your mom has eyes everywhere watching over you and Bennett. Why do you think you have so many Ted's?

MissAllie said...

Happy Birthday Mama H and Happy 1/2 Birthday Benny!! June 28th is a magical day!!

Unknown said...

Oh have we ever had THIS conversation before? But, it was total kismet, on so many levels, Rach.

I love the three of you more than you know. This picture makes me cry and smile all at the same time. Cheers to the momma <3 and Happy 1/2 Birthday to baby Benny. I love you guys so much!
xoxox

Katie said...

aw! I bet this is why you left me that comment. :) hugs to you girl!

Steph @ Halfway to Somewhere said...

I just found your blog through Back East Blonde, and I already love it! This post made me tear up a little bit. I love a good dose of serendipity! Can't wait to catch up on your posts!