the problem is, my kid doesn't sleep anymore, so as much as i want to string a few intelligent and witty words together for your amusement, these days? i'm finding it damned near impossible. and that's a real shame, cuz i like to write stuff, and i feel like i owe it to this blog and to the 7 people who read it (hi guys!love you! thanks for hangin' in!). the last month or so there's been an abundance of abbreviated posts, wordless wednesdays and crap lists on here...but i just sit here like a zombie and stare at the cursor and wait for the words to come and where they used to flow so freely and entertain me and provide me a tiny morsel of therapy, now the cursor just stares back, blinking.
i need sleep, guys. much like the issue of me still wearing maternity pants cuz i can't keep my fat face out of the potato chips, i know what the solution is, i am just fighting it tooth and nail, hoping like an idiot every day for a miracle.....
move the kid to his own room for the love of baby jesus.
i don't want to do it. i can't do it. i tried to do it once and it was a big fat fail even though, i am not embarrased to admit, i used raven's tin foil trick (which probably would have worked if he actually fell asleep till morning) and i am so tired, how am i actually going to survive a night....two nights...a WEEK of him waking up every hour in that crib and crying till i soothe him back to sleep? and before you even suggest it, before he was born, i talked a lot of sh*t about how i was absolutelypositivelytotally going to let him cry it out. he was going down in that crib in his room by himself starting from day one and i was going to be tough as nails about it, yes sir i sure was!
um, yeah. how's that workin' out, you ask? not so great actually.
and while i'm putting it all out there, i might as well just admit that not only is he in our room, he's in our BED. and has been. for his whole life. if he was in our room in a bassinet or something (right. like he would fit in a bassinet) maybe i would have a leg to stand on, but he's not. he's in the bed. sleeping the wrong way, all stretched out so his head is ramming my husband in the back and his feet are kicking me all night and he has stopped sleeping. he has basically stopped sleeping all together and all he does all night long is kick me and twist himself around in circles and try to get up on his hands and knees. for the entire night. i am basically not exaggerating. and then he falls asleep at 5am, which is awesome cuz by then, i am so pissed off about trying to get him to go to sleep all night that i'm all wound up and can't fall asleep and then the alarm goes off at 6.
oh hi mommy. sorry about the sleeping thing, i've just got so much on my mind these days trying to crawl and grow more teeth and stuff. did you really mean it when you told daddy this morning that you wanted to send me back for some adjustments? trade in some of my cuteness in exchange for me sleeping better?
no baby. i didn't mean it. i was just delirious and sleep deprived. sigh.