Thursday, July 7, 2011

summer camp

things have been a little nuts and i apologize for going all MIA after last week's adventures which i still have yet to recap....it's really freakin' a little bit weird to me that i am so disenchanted after last tuesday, but it is what it is and all we can do is face life and live it as best we can when changes take place in our heart that face us in unfamiliar, different directions...i know it's better this way, i know this is how it should be, but a very small part of me is still mourning the dissapearance of the spazzed out, heart-sick, love-struck fangirl who would be suffering from a case of major PDD (post-dave-depression) right about now...there is no doubt in my mind that some of this ambivalence is due to a little lingering PPD (got it? PDD is not to be confused with PPD, k? are you dizzy yet?) cuz the truth is that lately i don't give a rat's ass about much of anything...my rapidly expanding ass, my 3 chins, my complete ignorification of my gym membership, giant dust bunnies all over my floor, the tropical rain forest of weeds in my daylily garden, personal relationships, my cuticles etc. etc....i know i would feel like a new, worthy, healthy, refreshed woman if i could just get my act together, but it's all snowballed to an overwhelming level where sticking my head in the sand is the only option. and ben & jerry's. and wine. ben & jerry's and wine are always options. a sad truth.

what happened here? this was not what i meant this post to be about! god i hate when i do that. wah wah wah. who gives a shit about my whiny, woe is me nonsense? i just meant to explain why i hadn't updated from last tuesday (apathy) and where i had been since then (under the bed with a bag over my head)...and mostly, MOSTLY to say that the silver lining on my cloud of schleprock-style doom is my little nugget, ben...

i was on a tangent to the hubs (typical) last night about his day-to-day,  what does he DO after i leave him at daycare/camp/whatever the hell they are calling it this week...how does he exist when his mommy is gone? it is enough to rip my heart right out of my chest just thinking about it. between his new pair of chompers (i really do have to update, huh?) and his little social life, i am afraid my son is about a week and a half from driving.

and then...then as i am stalking (what?) casually perusing the facebook page of his camp, i stumble upon THIS...


oh hey mom, what's up? me and my buddy are just gonna go cruise the boulevard. don't wait up.

stop in the name of love.

just what exactly does he think he is doing??? and who is this friend of his? i mean, i have definitely seen that kid before, but i didn't know they were homies! obviously they are and obviously my kid is BMOC.

i can't handle this. not even a little.

 he is so grounded.



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1 comment:

insertwittytitleheremomstired said...

Yes, this must stop now! We can't have him making personal relationships on his own. Not yet!
I totally feel you on the apathy of life. I've been going through something quite similar lately. The hard part (minus the lovely children) is finding something positive to focus on to get us through. I was working a call with a fellow therapist last night, and she kept saying, "What we focus on gets bigger." It's so true yet so hard. For me, focusing on the negative is easy peasy fresh and breezy. That's exactly why it consumes me and keeps me in the hole.
We need to start working on thinking positive. It will be hard as hell to start, much like a diet, but will be old hat in no time.
You and I, let's do this. One positive thing today (and let's not even THINK about baseboards.)
Go!