7 months....

When did this happen???  SEVEN (WTF???) MONTHS OLD for love of baby jesus mary joseph and the unicorns. what in holy hell happened to my newborn baby? and WHY, pray tell, am i still wearing maternity pants????

i digress....

this little boy of mine is growing up at the speed of light and it is breaking my heart. i'll be honest, when he first started going to daycare, i actually looked forward to dropping him off and getting an 8 hour break. now? my heart explodes into a hundred million pieces every morning when i have to leave him. separation anxiety? I’ve got it bad. all i want to do is spend every minute of every day staring at him and watching him look around and babble and laugh and drool and put things in his mouth.

he is sitting up much better, though i am still afraid to just leave him sitting without hovering over him because he will definitely topple over, crash into the coffee table and scream. His bottom pair are still his only teeth so far but he’s been stuffing things into the right side of his mouth like crazy lately so there might be another on it’s way…he's nowhere near crawling and hasn't been too interested in standing either, which is fine with me. what he IS interested in, however, is food. lots of it. all of it. my boy can eat. he holds his own bottle consistently now and if he sees you walking towards him with it and you don't hand it to him right away, he reaches both hands out at you and "asks" for it. we started him on meats a couple of days earlier than the pedi told us too because i got a gorgeous looking package of organic ground chcken at whole foods and now our freezer has his very own shelf with all sorts of goodies i made for him in there. his favorite is the chicken with yams, apples and pear juice. of course, all of this protein has left him a little....uh....clogged up so now he is on the prunes. he's also loving cottage cheese, feeding himself baby mum-mums and making a big old sticky, crumby mess.

 

one of the things i was most looking forward to was the day he would start reaching up for me to pick him up and he does that all the time now, both arms reached out, waiting for mommy to pick him up….. those are some of the best moments of my day....

rolling over at 4am to find him up on both elbows, big blue eyes open wide as saucers, staring at me with a huge smile on his face…when it's time to move him into bed at night  and i lift him up from his rock n' play and carry him into the room and he doesn't wake up, just lays in my arms, 23 pounds of hot, sweaty dead weight with his soft, sweet head on my shoulder….reading books together on the couch waiting for the hubs to get home….those are a few more of the best moments of my day. every moment I spend with him is the best of my day, really.

words just can’t do this love justice.

i can’t even imagine where he will be a month from now, what new things he will have learned….will he finally say “momma” like i have been trying to teach him for months now while he just looks at me with that mischievous half smile and sweet, sleepy little eyes as if to say he knows darned well how to say “momma” and he is just waiting till i earn it? will he stand? will he crawl? will he get his driver’s license and leave for college? fall in love with a girl who is not good enough for him and call to tell me he is getting married?

everybody tells you how wonderful it is to be a mommy, but nobody ever mentions how bad it hurts.